“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” ~Vicki Harrison
I’m no stranger to grief. When I was twenty-three I lost my mum and then eight years later I lost my second daughter, Grace, when she was only one day old.
Soon after Grace died, my husband and I saw a grief counselor. He said something about other people’s reaction to grief that turned out to be one of the truest statements anyone has ever made to me.
He said, “There will be at least one friend you never hear from again because they don’t know what to say. At least one person will tell you not to worry because you can have another baby. And there will be one shining star—someone who you didn’t consider to be that close a friend—who will be there for you more forcefully and consistently than anyone else.”
All three of his predictions came true.
If you have a friend who is grieving, I know you will want to be their shining star. Grief is awkward and difficult; it’s something we tend to shy away from if we can help it. If you have never experienced grief, you may be at a loss to know what to say or do.
You Don’t Need to Say the Right Thing
In fact, you …