If you were raised on rom-coms and the idea of “love at first sight,” having a “spark” with a potential love interest seems like a no-brainer. While you’re probably not thinking marriage on a first date, you’re looking for some sign this person could be the one you’re looking for… right?
Actually, many single people today aren’t expecting to feel a connection right away, according to a Match.com survey. Of the participants polled, 59 percent of men and women said they would go on a second date with someone they had no romantic chemistry with on the first date.
And a good chunk of people don’t even count on those butterflies early on: 25 percent of singles don’t expect to feel chemistry until the second date, and 33 percent don’t expect to see that spark until three dates in—or more!
So is the instantaneous spark just a fantasy? And if you don’t feel chemistry at your initial meet-cute, should you give him or her a second chance?
More Than a Feeling
What exactly is that “spark”? It means different things for different people, says Michael McNulty, Ph.D., a master certified Gottman Therapist and Chicago-based couples counselor. It can be purely sexual, or it can be a deeper feeling that someone understand…