“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown
I haven’t always been the woman I am today.
I used to be scared. Of everything. And everyone. Painfully shy and insecure, I saw myself as a victim of my circumstances, and was always waiting, on guard, for the next rejection. I masked my insecurity in a blanket of perfectionism, and worked hard to put forth the image that I had everything together and had it all figured out.
I did a good job looking the part. On the outside most people just saw an attractive, intelligent, successful woman, and had very little awareness or understanding of the pain and fear that was living inside.
To further protect myself, I often times took advantage of knowing that others believed my facade.
I believed myself to be unworthy of love or loving, and there were times when the only way I knew to feel good about myself was to treat others harshly, often by knowing I could intimidate them just by being my “perfect” self.
I had split the world into people that I was either better than or less than.
It’s been said that someone once asked the Buddha whether it was possible to be critical and judgmental of other people and not treat oneself the …