Oscar Wilde once said hearts are made to be broken—but that poetic insight doesn’t help ease the pain of another universal truth: Breakups really, really suck.
The pain of calling it quits (or having it called for you) with someone whom you’ve invested time and emotions in—someone whom you’ve planned a future with, even if it’s just trying that new tapas restaurant next weekend—is enough to make even the Tin Man’s absent heart ache.
The worst part about having that intimacy ripped away is the question that lingers: What the hell am I supposed to do now? After a breakup you have three choices, says relationship and breakup expert Susan J. Elliott, author of Getting Back Out There: Successful Dating and Finding Real Love After the Big Breakup.
1. Spend time and energy focusing on your ex, trying to win them back (and possibly succeeding).
2. Go on as if nothing happened, perhaps falling into the first relationship that comes along.
3. Take your time and heal properly, look at what’s happened, learn from it, and find ways to build a new and healthy life.
Not surprisingly, all of our experts are in favor of the last option. (Wait, no option to cry yourself to sleep over rom coms while eating your feelings?)
Your Silver Lining Playbook <img src="http://greatist.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_main/public/young-woman-fence.jpg?itok=CbCE0CRP" alt="The Upside of Breaking Up" class="media-elemen…