The other afternoon I arrived a quiet bar in midtown New York. I sat alone and patiently waited for someone to take my order. One bartender was busy flirting with a customer. Another was laughing at his iPhone and watching what seemed to be the funniest (and longest) YouTube video in history.
As the minutes kept ticking by, I couldn’t contain my desire for a glass of prosecco any longer. “Excuse me!” I exclaimed, causing the now-disgruntled bartender to look up from his phone and saunter my way.
“Yes?” he asked. (No “Sorry to keep you waiting.”) The next words out of my mouth: Instead of “May a see a menu?” or “A glass of prosecco, please,” I said, “So sorry, but can I please see your wine list?”
Sorry?! What was I sorry for? Asking for a drink? At a bar? I was mad with myself as soon as I said it. Why was I apologizing?
Are you like this too? You don’t have to (and shouldn’t) be. Women in particular may be more likely to utter automatic apologies, it turns out. But while research shows women say sorry more often than men, it’s not that men are more reluctant to apologize for mistakes: “It’s just that they think they’ve done fewer things wrong,” the study author notes. Let’s all take a page from their book.
Here are five situations when you should replace the unnecessary word with a much more empowering (and accurate) response.
Stop Apologizing For… 1. Getting in or out of a busy elevator/subw…