It may still be the punchline of many a joke, but self-pleasure has come a long way since American Pie’s apple pie incident. While the stigma around self-love is slowly shrinking, we have to ask: Is it possible it’s affecting our ability to get it on IRL?
Masturbation actually helps keep your sexual pilot light on, says Megan Fleming, Ph.D., a sex and relationship therapist. If you get in the habit of bringing yourself to orgasm and experiencing that onslaught of dopamine, oxytocin, and stress relief, you won’t start with a cold engine when you want to get revved up with a partner. Getting excited to get it on may not be a problem for some, but if you tend to have a low libido, solo sessions can help you know exactly what turns you on, Fleming says.
And while no one’s going to touch you exactly like you do, having a super-great time with yourself won’t necessarily diminish a bout with someone else, says Megan Stubbs, a sexologist and sex educator. Instead look at masturabation like an opportunity to communicate with your partner—touch yourself in front of them, walk them through what you’re doing, and they’ll pick up tips.
Whether or not you want to make masturbation a teachable moment, there’s no reason to worry about…