“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron
Wounds I thought were healed began to burst open after a recent break-up. I had obviously not learned the lessons I was meant to years ago.
As a child I put 100 percent effort into everything I did, from schoolwork and swimming training to leadership positions. I remember feeling so sure of myself.
I drew my confidence from many areas of my life. A good student, swimming champion, school captain… I had my life sorted. Although the swimming accolades and A’s on my report card meant nothing once the bullying started.
I was bullied a number of times throughout my schooling. I moved primary schools in the hope that I could escape the cattiness of insecure girls; however, unfortunately for me, bullies seem to be everywhere. I experienced trouble at my swimming club and during my first years of high school.
Every time there was trouble my solution was to move elsewhere. I changed swimming clubs and schools, not to mention friendship groups several times.
Eventually, the bullying came to an end, but I was left with suicidal thoughts and depression. I don’t remember specifics about that time in my life. It is as if my brain blocks out those memories as a defence mechanism.</p…