The Secret to Getting What You Want That No One Ever Tells You


“I’d like a 20 percent increase in my base salary and a review of my stock option allocation, please.”

My heart was beating quickly, but my demeanor was calm. I was talking to my boss after a stellar sales year and felt due for a significant financial boost. I was leaning forward in my seat with a smile on my face and the intention to leave that conversation feeling satisfied.

Did I put off this meeting a hundred times? Hell yes! But did I allow my fear to stop me from earning my potential? Hell no!

Asking is a superpower I pray more people harness. Why? Because if you don’t ask questions, you are making wild, uninformed assumptions. You miss out. You lose before you begin.

If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

It’s as simple as this: If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. And when you give a lot—at work, in relationships, in life—you are entitled to receive in return. It’s the awesome cycle of reciprocity in action.

Think about it: We make assumptions so rapidly and effortlessly that silence us from asking questions that could change our lives. (These are the seven questions I’ve asked that changed my life.)

Here are a few (often unwarranted) assumptions that I hear all the time:

“He/she would never go out with me.” “My manager wouldn’t consider me for that promotion.” “I couldn’t get an interview at that company.” “But you need a college degree to do …

What do you think?