You Don’t Have to Adjust Who You Are to Please Others


Six Faces

“If you are busy pleasing everyone, you are not being true to yourself.” ~Jocelyn Murray

Do you say yes to things only to keep people happy?

Do you fear saying and doing what you actually want?

I know how that feels.

From a young age, I was the polite, good girl. I rarely rebelled. I wanted to keep everyone happy. I thought that if I was honest I’d be rejected. That those closest to me wouldn’t love me. I thought I’d end up alone.

At friends’ houses, asked what I’d like to drink or eat, I would always respond with “Whatever’s easiest.” I never wanted to be a burden.

At twenty-one I met my boyfriend’s parents. Dinner was fresh sardines complete with tiny bones. I was vegetarian and hated fish, yet I said nothing and ate away.

I fought the urge to be sick. I followed each revolting bite with a gulp of water. I should have spoken up, but I feared disapproval.

After college, the desire to keep everyone happy led me into jobs I thought people would approve of. By my mid-twenties I had a job in management. I was successful. But inside I was miserable.

Living my life according to the word “should” was gruelling. When I finally stopped, I felt empty and unsure of who I was.

One day it became too much. I d…

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